Left to my own thinking, my inner dialog while running easily defaults into: You’re struggling and you’re only two miles into a four mile practice run?  You’ll never be able to finish a marathon!  You’re not a runner.  There’s a voice in my head that reminds me that I’m not athletic and I’m crazy to think I can do this.  It’s true that I was always picked last for team games as a child—understandably because I couldn’t throw or catch, and freaked out whenever a ball was thrown at me.  (I have since overcome the latter after raising two boys, but you still wouldn’t want me to throw something to you.)  I tried out for gymnastics in high school, but the coach couldn’t use someone without the ability to do basic moves like a backward roll or cartwheel.  And despite hours of swimming practice one summer, I didn’t pass the lifesaving course because I couldn’t master the dive.  So what are you doing out here today, Lilly?

Obviously, that kind of negative thinking is not going to help get me to the finish line on October 31!  I’m realizing that getting ready for a marathon involves as much mental preparation as physical.  It’s an inside job! Here’s what’s going on in my head while I run—my mental training regimen, so to speak.

Last month I joined the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team in Training, an international program of amateur athletes who run, walk, or cycle to provide research funds aimed at the treatment and cure of blood related cancers.  I submitted my application, committed to raise $2400, met with my coaches, started a rather intense training schedule, and participated in my first group training run last weekend.  It still sounds crazy to hear myself say it, but I’m going to run a marathon!

Nobody plans to gain weight. Nobody sets out to see how high they can get their blood sugar levels.  And nobody intends to end up with a heart attack. If you’re like most Americans, you are just so busy keeping up with the demands of everyday life that it’s easy to let your own health needs take a backseat.

“Are you a runner?” she asked, as we lined up at the starting line.  It’s a question I’ve been asking myself ever since starting the Couch to 5K training program in July.  I began running to increase the intensity of my exercise, improve my health, and lose a few stubborn pounds.  Every run had been a mental struggle to begin and complete.  Sending in the race application for the 5K had merely been a tactic to provide motivation to continue running once I finished the last week of C25K.  I definitely didn’t feel like a runner, and even joked that I had yet to experience the “runner’s high.”  Now here I was, ready to begin my first official 5K run.  Six months ago I could never have imagined this.  Am I a runner?  “No, not really,” I replied.